“As you think, so shall you become.”- The Bible.

     I was never much a newspaper reader but with the internet, I got all the news I needed. Then, with the smartphone, the internet and the news were at your fingertips all day long wherever you were.

     Here’s the thing. What the heck was I reading? Well, what else would I be reading but stories that capture your attention. What captures your attention? Apparently, nothing good. I read up on wars, riots, murders, stabbings, car accidents, gossip etc. All these things I would read up on provided me with nothing useful to start my day. Regretfully, I wasn’t much of a reader of books and when I did, it was usually something like suspense or action. It was rare for me to deliberately read anything that taught me something useful.

     It wasn’t until age 50 that I realized what I read had a direct impact on every aspect of my life including career, relationships, and leadership. You see, what I was reading had an affect on my day. My thoughts and emotions were heavily influenced by what I was reading. It was garbage in and garbage out. What I was reading influenced how I spoke, what I spoke about and who I spoke to. You gravitate to people who have similar beliefs, ideas, personalities, and tendencies. Whether they were good or bad, you want to be with people that share the same values as you. If you have negative values and tendencies, you will find people that will share those same traits and even support you. I had enough negative traits to go around which is why I subconsciously sought out people that shared the same traits.

     When I turned 50, I decided to open a fitness studio. During my 2-year journey to opening my gym, my mentors would recommend various audiobooks for me to listen to. They were not instructional books on how to run a gym or manage time or finances. Most of these books focused on personal development and how I need to fix myself so that I can have a successful business. They were books about leadership, relationship building, the law of attraction, success principles and mindfulness. From that point on, this was all I read or listened to. I loved them. More importantly, I was learning from them. The lessons I would learn, and a healthy dose of self-reflection helped me understand the things I needed to change to be the person I needed to become to succeed. For most of my life, I figured I knew everything. I was confident and smart. I had a giant ego. Why would I need anyone’s advice?

     What I learned about myself was that my ego was a cover for my low self-esteem. Whenever I encountered a situation that I was ill equipped to deal with, my ego took over and I would generally go on the offensive. I would have conversations with people and if they contradicted anything I said or perhaps I didn’t understand, I went on the offensive and attacked. My ego did not allow me to be humble enough to say,” I don’t know.” Or “I don’t understand.” This the type of attitude that kept me from learning and therefore progressing. Believing I was smart meant that I needed to be smart all the time and in all situations. In any instance where I felt I was inadequate, I usually went on the attack, wanting to make the other person looked bad or stupid so that I could feel better.

     The lessons I was learning in these new books seem to be written specifically for me. They talked about people who have egos. They talked about humility, vulnerability, and charity. They talked about the importance of giving and being of service to others. They talked about mindsets of extremely successful people. They talked about the attributes of effective leaders. Through all the lessons I would learn about, I realized if I wanted success, I needed to change about 99% of myself. I stopped watching TV. I stopped watching sports, only catching up on the results after. I stopped watching and reading the news which was filled with garbage. I stopped hanging out with friends that did not align with my core values. I stopped interacting with family members that were toxic in my life. I stayed in close contact with people, friends, and colleagues, that would support me and encourage me. I sought the advice of people that I wanted to be like. I learned to be more giving and understanding. Learned to be humble enough to say, “I don’t know.” and ask for help. I learned to stop living in scarcity and instead live in abundance. Being able to ask for help IS living in abundance. I started understanding that my thoughts were the key to manifesting anything and everything I wanted in life.

     I’m not finished learning because I am an endless work in progress. My goal is to become a better person each year and be unrecognizable in different ways. I’ve told my children that on each birthday, I want the “1” rather than my actual age because I want to be new person with new things to bring to the world. I don’t know if I am accomplishing this, but I know that I am a completely different person than I was before turning 50.